Mark is trying so hard to juggle his time. He is doing extremely well but I know it is hard. He has to be out of town three nights this week so he wants to spend as much time with his dad as he can, and help out Pat, and be with the boys as much as possible, and get some stuff done at the house, and make sure I am okay. The list goes on and on.
I find myself getting frustrated at times because he isn’t home or I can’t get in touch with him. Because I am so used to him being so present and available to my every want and need. And he is still so there if I need him, but I am learning that I need to be like fifth or sixth on his list during this season.
My selfishness disgusts me. He is so amazing. And I am realizing that I need the Lord’s help so I can fill some of the needs the boys have that Daddy usually fills. Because during this season I really want Mark to be able to do what his heart wants to do. If he wants to just sit with his dad or mow his dad’s lawn or go grocery shopping with his sister for Pat. I want him to have the freedom to do what his heart wants to do without guilt for not being somewhere else at that moment.
I am not sure if this makes any sense but I know so many of you really care about what we are feeling and what is going on and how you can pray. So please pray for balance. That we each daily fill the roles that the Lord has for us for THAT day. And that I remain unselfish, moment by moment.