Parenting is not easy. I just made one of the hardest parenting decisions I have ever made, as silly as this is going to sound. Eli has a very hard time staying in his bed at bedtime. It is an almost nightly routine of putting him back in bed with spankings and consequences etc. So tonight after he was spanked the first time I told him that if he chose to get out of bed again I would take away his “doggy b b” for the rest of the night.
This is a super sweet blankie that my sister-in-law Kim made for him when he was born. He became attached to it very early on and likes to sleep with it laying a specific way on his tummy. I thought for sure the threat would work like a charm and he would choose wisely and go to sleep. Wrong! He came downstairs with a snow toboggan on and a toy hammer. ( I have no idea where he found the toboggan.)
So I had to follow through and oh the weeping and gnashing of teeth! I have never heard him cry like he is now crying and screaming his head off. Hysteria, not anger but such sadness!!! I am super frustrated and now so sad on top of it because I am making him so, so sad:( Parenting can be hard. I just want him to go to sleep so he will be happy in the morning. If he would just learn to stay still long enough to fall asleep.
I know it is worth it and I have to follow through and he needs to learn this lesson, but it is hard. Ugh!! Once he goes to sleep I am sure I can find some greater meaning behind it but right now I just feel like a horribly mean rotten mommy. And I hollered at him earlier about staying in bed too. So of course mommy-guilt is kicking hard…… Why can’t bedtime be a sweet, cuddly, idyllic time?