Living not striving…

Random thoughts and daily adventures in my life

Quality time July 12, 2008

Filed under: Family Life — erikaivory @ 9:02 pm

Do you know what your primary love language is?  Early on in our relationship, before engagement even, Mark and I read the book The Five Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman.  Good stuff.  It talks about how we all have a love tank but there are different languages that can be used to fill it up.  They are quality time, physical touch, words of affirmation, acts of service and giving gifts.  You usually have a primary language that you speak and receive.  A worthy read. (By the way that may be the only book we ever read together, so don’t think, “aahh look they read together!” 🙂

Anyways my primary love language is quality time.  Mark’s is more acts of service or gift giving.  So we have had to learn to be very deliberate on filling each other’s tanks.  Quality time with my hubby right now is pretty hard to come by, especially on the weekends.  He spent last night with his dad and when he came home this morning I was packing the boys and the car to go to the beach all day so Mark could rest.  Imagine my delight when he said he had enough sleep and would go with us.  The boys and I were so excited!

What makes it even more special is that Mark HATES the beach.  He hates the sand, the water the heat, the wind, all of it.  But he helped me pack up, drove all the way (even with traffic and despite the fact that he drives back and forth to the beach just about 3 times a week already), he dug holes in the sand with us, ate a picnic lunch (he despises sand in his food), took the boys out in the water, and lost his treasured sunglasses in the waves!  We stayed over 3 hours and  then packed it up and went home.

He then made us omelets for dinner.  And he gets to go to church with us tomorrow!!!  The best thing about it is he did it all with such a willing heart, no complaining.  Although I know during the majority of the day he simply was doing and there because he loves us and it made us happy.  My love tank is very full!

It also convicts me to try harder to meet his needs and find ways to fill his tank.  Isn’t it amazing how when we get filled up we can then fill others up?  Although we don’t always have the luxury of getting filled up.  Thank goodness the Lord will fill us up, any time, any day, any way we need!  He is so faithful!  And I am so thankful for my Mark:)


3 Responses to “Quality time”

  1. Vanessa Says:

    I can’t believe Mark hates the beach – how could anyone not like going to the beach? The Five Love Languages is such a great book! I actually have been thinking about it lately and would probably benefit by reading it again – it’s been a while. I need to be more aware of filling up Michael’s love tank in HIS love language instead of mine. Thanks for the reminder.

  2. mauraprelich Says:

    Definitely a great book, and it is also one of only two books Ben and I read together, before marriage also. So you’re not alone in that! What a wonderful hubby you have!!! Kudos to Mark for doing such a great job as Daddy, Husband and Son. You are very blessed. You are so right also that the Lord fills our tanks when others can’t or don’t seem to be doing what we feel is the best job. I feel so full right now from the Lord I am on cloud 9.

  3. Penny and Gary Morris Says:

    Mark and Erika,
    Please know that Gary and I are praying for you all daily! We understand all your trials and tribulations and know that God can give you comfort and guidance in these rough times!

    Penny and Gary

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