Living not striving…

Random thoughts and daily adventures in my life

Broken Pieces to Share February 20, 2011

Filed under: Deep thoughts,Random stuff — erikaivory @ 4:16 am

You’d think I’d learn…

It’s not gonna work, Lord.

I’m just not enough.  I can’t do it.  There is only one of me!

Why do you trust me with this?  I don’t have enough..

time…energy…money…insight…understanding…strength…

want-to…self-discipline…

Anybody else have that voice on repeat in their head?

As I was scurrying around trying to figure out a last-minute dinner and muster up the self-control to use what is in my pantry instead of ordering out, the voice started.  As fatigue crept in trying to take over and frustration began rising, I once again found myself having this one-sided conversation with the Holy Spirit.

He gently and simply whispered “5 loaves and 2 fish were enough that day“.  Sigh…well, yeah for Jesus!!

In Matthew 14, after a long, long day of ministering to the needs of thousands of people, Christ’s disciples reminded Him that it was almost dinner time and these people were going to need food soon.  So Jesus said, “Feed them.”  Um…well, all the fast food joints were under construction so we have a problem here. In the same story recorded in Luke 9,  Jesus simply tells the disciples,”You give them something to eat.”

Personally, I would have been a little frustrated with Jesus at that point.  Really?  They told Him what they had…and I imagine Jesus sighed slightly:) and then told the disciples to seat the people in groups of about 50.  Now, He didn’t tell the disciples that He was going to multiply the food. 

He just wanted them to trust Him and do what He asked with what they had.

They could have become flustered and annoyed and argued with Jesus.  Or threw their hands up and stomped off.  Or taken matters into their own hands and come up with an orderly evacuation plan for 5,000 plus hungry travelers.

They chose to do what He asked.

The end result was over 5,000 physically and spiritually fed people….12 basketfuls of leftover broken pieces of bread…and a handful of disciples whose faith, I believe, had increased.  Jesus didn’t lay out the 4 step plan for feeding 5,000 or promise them a happy ending.  He used what they had to teach them AGAIN that they can trust Him and that He provides.

Did He provide hundreds of baskets of food before they handed it out?

No…He provided in the moment of their need

as their hands were actively obeying

with faith that He would indeed provide what they lacked.

Every day I am acutely and loudly aware of what I am lacking.  I am NOT ENOUGH.  I CANNOT do what He is asking me to do as a wife, as a daughter, as a mom, as a friend, as a Christ-follower.

The Truth is…only He is enough.

As I stood at the stove looking at my empty hands…He reminded me to simply do the task He is asking me to do and trust Him that He will absolutely show up with exactly what fills my need.  Not necessarily early…but just when I need Him the most.

And He may even leave me with some baskets of broken pieces to share…

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